Lesson details
- Objective: Students distinguish bullying from conflict, and learn three safe upstander moves.
- Time: 30 minutes
- Grade band: 3–5
- CASEL competency: Responsible decision-making
Materials
- Definition cards: conflict vs bullying (repeated, on purpose, power imbalance)
- Fictional scenario set — no real names, ever
Steps
- Draw the line first: conflict is a disagreement between equals; bullying is repeated, on purpose, with a power difference. Sort four fictional scenarios using the three checks.
- Introduce the bystander fact plainly: most bullying happens with others watching, and what the watchers do changes what happens next.
- Teach three safe upstander moves: (1) don't give it an audience — walk away and take others with you; (2) check on the person afterward — "that wasn't okay, are you alright?"; (3) tell an adult — reporting danger is not tattling.
- Practice move 2 in pairs — it is the easiest and most underused.
- Close with the class agreement: which upstander move will our class be known for?
Debrief questions
- Why does checking on someone afterward matter even if you couldn't stop anything?
- What makes telling an adult different from tattling?
Variations
- For grade 3, focus only on the conflict/bullying distinction and move 3.
- For grade 5, add the online layer: screenshots instead of confrontation, and the same tell-an-adult rule.
What mastery looks like
- Sorts a novel scenario as conflict or bullying using the three checks
- Names all three upstander moves and demonstrates the check-in move
- States the tattling/reporting distinction in their own words
What tends to go wrong
Never role-play actual bullying with students playing aggressors or real incidents from your class — fictional scenarios only, and the sorting activity stays about the cards. If disclosures arise (they may), receive them privately and follow your school's reporting protocol; this lesson is prevention, not intervention.